Building Ties that Bind

As the size of a BNI chapter grows, one of the common challenges faced by all members is the ability to understand everyone’s business. We know that in order to increase referrals and to find opportunities for business collaboration, building strong ties with members is critical. Just like the intelligence of a person is dependent on the links between the memory cells in the brain called synapses and not the size of the brain, the strength of a BNI chapter is also dependent on the ties between members and not merely the number of members.

 As time is a constraint faced by most people, group dance cards will be more efficient as compared to the traditional way of 1-1 dance card.  To maximise the result from group dance cards, below are several suggestions on conducting effective group dance cards:

 1. Show-Case melody

 Each member given 10 minutes to talk about their business & ideal client profile. Be very specific & time-conscious about how the show-case is being done. The objective is to get to know in greater detail about each other’s business goals, ideal client profiles & how to get referrals for them. Some specific things to talk about:

 a. What’s the unique selling proposition for your company & its’ products/services? Why your company, not your competitors?

 b. Ideal client Profiles, and how they can benefit from your services.

 c. How do you propose you can work with the various members of your group?

 d. What are the improvements you hope to make this year about your business, personal and professional development?

 2. Speed Dance-Card

 a. Each write down their name on a slip of paper, put into two separate cups alternately, so that you split into two groups. Open all the slips in one cup, and get them to each in turn pick a name from the other cup. This will be the first round of combination.

 b. Each given 10 minutes to share their business. Be specific about the dance-card, to quickly state the unique selling points, how their services can benefit their target market groups. Then each given another 5 minutes to suggest how to collaborate with each other.

 c. Then rotate in order of group 1 meeting new group 2 person. Then finally one round together within the group.

 3. Chapter Improvement suggestions

 a. Break-out into 2 sub-groups and discuss about

 i. What suggestions you have to increase referrals especially for members who did not receive a lot of referrals and especially tier 2 referrals?

 ii. What are the suggestions you have to develop stronger business ties as well as relationship between members?

 iii. How can we as a chapter market our chapter members’ services more effectively?

 iv. What arethe things that have happenedinBNI that will make you commit to the Chapter and become a 10 year member?

 v. What are your suggestions on how we can improve BNI Renaissance further?

 b. Run a general discussion with each member given 5 minutes to speak about what areas of improvements can be made to the chapter. Get a facilitator to classify and group the points made. Then open to the entire group and go through groupings of suggestions and comments.

 4. Share about How Referrals and Visitors came about. This will help each other learn how to pass more referrals and bring visitors.

 5. Visitor Day! – Why not make it an occasion to invite visitors to your members’ group gathering. You can put together a social event, perhaps get a member to be MC and introduce other members and share what the BNI Renaissance is all about.

4 Steps to Overcoming Adversity

“Life is difficult.” This is the famous opening line of the bestselling book, The Road Less Traveled, written by M. Scott Peck. Indeed, let me be bold enough to say that a life without adversity will be a life not worth living.  While I used to dislike adversity and would try my best to stay clear of it, I have learnt that it is the ability to overcome adversity that makes us a better and stronger person.

I have learnt that your mindset towards adversity will have a profound effect on how you deal with adversity. Remember the following:

1. Life is a continuous succession of both small and large problems. Problems never end. No sooner do you get control of one situation when you are hit by another. Learn to accept that life is a process of “two steps forward and one step back.”

2. You only learn what you’re made of only when you are fall, end over end, by some adversity that hits you like a truck. What really matters is how you pick yourself up.

3. You couldn’t possibly have become the person you are today if you hadn’t contended with adversity. You grow more surely toward the stars.

4. The Universe will never send a difficulty that is too big for you to handle. Whatever problems or adversities you face, you have within you the resources and creativity to deal with them. You have within you, right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you.

The only question is, “How good are you at overcoming the inevitable adversities of life?”

Here are 4 steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.

1. Treat every problem or difficulty as if it were a “test,” sent to test your competency. Look for ways to grow stronger and benefit, and “pass” the test with high marks.

2. Stay calm no matter what happens. The longer you can stay calm and relaxed, the better decisions you make and the faster you will be out of your difficulty. You need clarity of mind. Take full control of your emotions and senses. Back off mentally, and become as objective as possible. Step back and look at the problem with a certain amount of detachment, as if it were happening to someone else.

3. Ask other people who have had the same problem for their advice. Don’t try to solve it by yourself.

4. Remind yourself, “This, too, shall pass.”

The PAP Way to Become a Brilliant Conversationalist

Most business people will understand that the foundation of a good business lies in building strong relationships with the people around you. One of the critical skills to build strong relationships is the ability to hold a conversation. In fact, a brilliant conversationalist will often be surrounded by people in a networking session because people enjoy their company.

There are 3 skills to improve your conversations with others and they are summarized by PAP.

The first P stands for Pausing.

One key to becoming a great conversationalist is to pause before replying. A short pause, of three to five seconds allows you accomplish three goals simultaneously.

First, you avoid running the risk of interrupting if the other person is just catching his or her breath before continuing.

Second, you show the other person that you are giving careful consideration to his or her words by not jumping in with your own comments at the earliest opportunity.

The third benefit of pausing is that you will actually hear the other person better. His or her words will soak into a deeper level of your mind and you will understand what he or she is saying with greater clarity. By pausing, you mark yourself as a brilliant conversationalist.

The second A stands for Ask

Another way to become a great conversationalist is to ask question for clarification. Never assume that you understand what the person is saying or trying to say. Instead, ask, “What do you mean, exactly?”

This is the most powerful question that is almost impossible not to answer. When you ask, “What do you mean?” the other person cannot stop himself or herself from answering more extensively. You can then follow up with other open-ended questions and keep the conversation rolling along.

The third P stands for Paraphrase

The third way to become a great conversationalist is to paraphrase the speaker’s words in your own words. After you’ve nodded and smiled, you can then say, “Let me see if I’ve got this right. What you’re saying is . . .”

By paraphrasing the speaker’s words, you demonstrate in no uncertain terms that you are genuinely paying attention and making every effort to understand his or her thoughts or feelings.

And the wonderful thing is, when you practice PAP, you are practicing effective listening. Other people will begin to find you fascinating. They will want to be around you. They will feel relaxed and happy in your presence. The more you listen to another person, the more he or she trusts you and believes in you. Listening also builds self-esteem. When you listen attentively to another person, his or her self-esteem will naturally increase. Finally, listening builds self-discipline in the listener. Because your mind can process words at 500-600 words per minute, and we can only talk at about 150 words per minute, it takes a real effort to keep your attention focused on another person’s words. The more you work at paying close attention to what the other person is saying, the more self-disciplined you will become. In other words, by learning to listen well, you actually develop your own character and your own personality.

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